continuing to perk...
regarding anger…
What I am thinking is not just how I respond to someone else and how I treat them when I get angry…whether I respond to them with hurtful, angry-motivated actions or respond with kind, love-motivated actions…I am attempting to understand what the root cause of anger is in the first place. I’m thinking anger is a symptom of seeing in another something that actually bothers me about myself, that anger rears its head because I am fearful or frustrated or disappointed in my own behaviors/thoughts that are being shown to me in what I perceive as an ugly way by the actions/expressions of belief of the person/s who “made me mad.”
When I really look at others and see them for who they really are all I see is their value and light. What clouds my seeing and casts a shadow of something less is “dirt” on the inside of my window, not anything clinging to them - things I’m not dealing with about myself for whatever reason be it fear or lazy habit. If I lash out at them, it is my condemnation of myself thoughtlessly, recklessly vented on them. (Which leads to the corollary thought…it is ego only to think I have treated someone kindly when I’m angry…to feel all benevolent for not venting on them ‘cuz the truth is, it’s me that’s the my problem in the first place, not them…grin)
As I thought about what I had heard as another vented their anger yesterday, I realized it came from a place of insecurity…that if the person was truly committed to their own viewpoint, it wouldn’t have mattered what others were saying, there would have simply been listening rather than harsh words. Those harsh words though said of the others really reflected the individual’s fear of feeling adrift and uncertain. The venomous condemnation and offense taking were really rooted in self-doubts rather than any conviction others were expressing.
It seems to me self-possession isn’t a matter of will in controlling the expression of passions (though it can be practiced until earned) it is the natural by-product of living honestly with oneself. Living honestly with oneself doesn’t necessarily mean liking everything about yourself, but being willing to see it clearly – shadow and light, accepting what is, choosing to remain the same or choosing to work on changing what you’d like to change, and being at peace with this moment of your progress…what is. Accepting the “what is” of ourselves seems to eliminate criticism, judgement, condemnation of others as our inner peace is only disturbed when we choose to lie to ourselves about who we are when the actions/words of others mirror our shortcomings.
…and I’m thinking this may be true of other interaction, that our perception of others is actually our self-perception in every instance…
What I am thinking is not just how I respond to someone else and how I treat them when I get angry…whether I respond to them with hurtful, angry-motivated actions or respond with kind, love-motivated actions…I am attempting to understand what the root cause of anger is in the first place. I’m thinking anger is a symptom of seeing in another something that actually bothers me about myself, that anger rears its head because I am fearful or frustrated or disappointed in my own behaviors/thoughts that are being shown to me in what I perceive as an ugly way by the actions/expressions of belief of the person/s who “made me mad.”
When I really look at others and see them for who they really are all I see is their value and light. What clouds my seeing and casts a shadow of something less is “dirt” on the inside of my window, not anything clinging to them - things I’m not dealing with about myself for whatever reason be it fear or lazy habit. If I lash out at them, it is my condemnation of myself thoughtlessly, recklessly vented on them. (Which leads to the corollary thought…it is ego only to think I have treated someone kindly when I’m angry…to feel all benevolent for not venting on them ‘cuz the truth is, it’s me that’s the my problem in the first place, not them…grin)
As I thought about what I had heard as another vented their anger yesterday, I realized it came from a place of insecurity…that if the person was truly committed to their own viewpoint, it wouldn’t have mattered what others were saying, there would have simply been listening rather than harsh words. Those harsh words though said of the others really reflected the individual’s fear of feeling adrift and uncertain. The venomous condemnation and offense taking were really rooted in self-doubts rather than any conviction others were expressing.
It seems to me self-possession isn’t a matter of will in controlling the expression of passions (though it can be practiced until earned) it is the natural by-product of living honestly with oneself. Living honestly with oneself doesn’t necessarily mean liking everything about yourself, but being willing to see it clearly – shadow and light, accepting what is, choosing to remain the same or choosing to work on changing what you’d like to change, and being at peace with this moment of your progress…what is. Accepting the “what is” of ourselves seems to eliminate criticism, judgement, condemnation of others as our inner peace is only disturbed when we choose to lie to ourselves about who we are when the actions/words of others mirror our shortcomings.
…and I’m thinking this may be true of other interaction, that our perception of others is actually our self-perception in every instance…
posted by dawnalee @ 08:21
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