Psyched!

Found out yesterday I successfully navigated the lottery for the Canyonlands Half Marathon in Moab, Utah on 17 March 2007. I am way excited.

I started training the day before I finally took the plunge and signed up. Found a 14-week training schedule that seemed doable for me, fortunately at that point there were 13 1/2 weeks 'til race day.

Can I do it on one lung? Can I get fit enough? Stay tuned.

My objective is to complete the course before the "sweepers" come along and close it...so that means about 5 mph. :o)

What an adventure!

continuing to perk...

regarding anger…

What I am thinking is not just how I respond to someone else and how I treat them when I get angry…whether I respond to them with hurtful, angry-motivated actions or respond with kind, love-motivated actions…I am attempting to understand what the root cause of anger is in the first place. I’m thinking anger is a symptom of seeing in another something that actually bothers me about myself, that anger rears its head because I am fearful or frustrated or disappointed in my own behaviors/thoughts that are being shown to me in what I perceive as an ugly way by the actions/expressions of belief of the person/s who “made me mad.”

When I really look at others and see them for who they really are all I see is their value and light. What clouds my seeing and casts a shadow of something less is “dirt” on the inside of my window, not anything clinging to them - things I’m not dealing with about myself for whatever reason be it fear or lazy habit. If I lash out at them, it is my condemnation of myself thoughtlessly, recklessly vented on them. (Which leads to the corollary thought…it is ego only to think I have treated someone kindly when I’m angry…to feel all benevolent for not venting on them ‘cuz the truth is, it’s me that’s the my problem in the first place, not them…grin)

As I thought about what I had heard as another vented their anger yesterday, I realized it came from a place of insecurity…that if the person was truly committed to their own viewpoint, it wouldn’t have mattered what others were saying, there would have simply been listening rather than harsh words. Those harsh words though said of the others really reflected the individual’s fear of feeling adrift and uncertain. The venomous condemnation and offense taking were really rooted in self-doubts rather than any conviction others were expressing.

It seems to me self-possession isn’t a matter of will in controlling the expression of passions (though it can be practiced until earned) it is the natural by-product of living honestly with oneself. Living honestly with oneself doesn’t necessarily mean liking everything about yourself, but being willing to see it clearly – shadow and light, accepting what is, choosing to remain the same or choosing to work on changing what you’d like to change, and being at peace with this moment of your progress…what is. Accepting the “what is” of ourselves seems to eliminate criticism, judgement, condemnation of others as our inner peace is only disturbed when we choose to lie to ourselves about who we are when the actions/words of others mirror our shortcomings.


…and I’m thinking this may be true of other interaction, that our perception of others is actually our self-perception in every instance…

percolating

…today...hmmm...realizing in a
more clear manner…that my anger
is telling me there is something
within that I am avoiding seeing
clearly or which I am fearful of…

any anger I allow to be triggered
by the words and actions of others
has nothing to do with them…it is
a mirror being held up to me about
ways I am not being true to myself…
that in some way I am clinging to
acting from fear rather than love…
…of betraying myself in the process

I haven’t been angry today… I
saw the anger of another and had this
realization about my anger…think
it may be true of anger as a whole for
all who experience it…as individuals,
groups, even societies and nations…

hmmm…this is an interesting day
for thinking… :o)

Aminals and Fruit Bearers

The song "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall had my mind wandering today...

What about ________ & _______ ?


a big brown bear and a berry bush
a kowala bear and a kiwi tree
a panda bear and a bamboo plant

hmmm...kind of in a rut with this

a large red dog and a lemon tree
a rogue white cat and a catnip plant

a small grey mouse and a green bean bush


Ahhh...the joys of being lyrical. :o)

Gratitude

I have been whelmed the past few days with a deep sense of gratitude for many blessing that I have experienced, heard of and recognized in our family. A moment to say hearfelt thanks to our Father who with lovingkindness keeps watch over us.

I am thankful for a flourishing year for our Emma and for the preservation and restoration of our dear Lauriann.

I am thankful for the joys of getting to know our Andrew.

I am thankful for the fabulous, though brief, opportunity to reunion with all who could attend.

I am thankful for the delight in reconnecting with Tara.

I am thankful for the safety, health and tender mercy shown for Ashley and Brighton.

I am thankful for the compassion and competence of those working with my mum.

I am thankful for the perfectly answered prayers on Bruce's behalf.

I am thankful for all the other countless ways in which prayers, fasting, sincere wishes, long pondering, and heartfelt desires have been considered and blessed for each member of this far-flung clan.

Today, I am grateful.

Holmes sonnet

I thought this sonnet, set to one of my favorite traditional English tunes and arranged by Mack Wilberg was a beautiful addition to my day this morning, so wanted to share the thoughtful words of thanks.

Thou Gracious God, Whose Mercy Lends
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Thou gracious God, whose mercy lends
the light of home, the smile of friends,
our gathered flock thine arms enfold
as in the peaceful days of old.

Wilt thou not hear us while we raise
in sweet accord of solemn praise
the voices that have mingled long
in joyous flow of mirth and song?

For all the blessings life has brought,
for all its sorrowing hours have taught,
for all we mourn, for all we keep,
the hands we clasp, the loved that sleep.

The noontide sunshine of the past,
these brief, bright moments fading fast,
the stars that gild our darkening years,
the twilight ray from holier spheres.

We thank thee, Father; let thy grace
our loving circle still embrace,
thy mercy shed its heavenly store,
thy peace be with us evermore.

Nice reason

Posting a blog for the express pupose of "getting in on the action." Hmmm...

Not that much rambling around in my head this day that I haven't already addressed in written form elsewhere...perhaps I should plaigerize myself and post those thoughts here, or perhaps I will simply post this opening meandering and see what happens from here.

Ahhh...choice and a beautiful day...what could be better for a Sunday afternoon wander?